I know I had said that I was going to wait until Fashion Week to publish my next set of posts but it felt appropriate given, not only the weather, but the level of new readership NOAGIS is amassing to put a lil’ something out there as festive joy (if that even existed this year) is now but a bygone era.
Everyone I speak to seems dismal for lack of hope. The thing is, without it (hope, that is), there’s little we can do to move forward; but move forward, we must.
It’s sensical that given the fact we are living at a time where our exposure to media; thereby current affairs, for all of its wondrous (not) negativity, is now so digitally constant that we become hopeless. And we feel helpless. It’s unabashedly difficult to feel motivated when every single day is a constant stream of bad news and problems to solve without any idea how to do just that. That doesn’t begin to touch on our inner sanctum and personal lives (dare we have one) whereby life continues to happen as life does; for all of its joyfulness and of course, the tough bits too.
Add to all of this, the pressure to produce meaningful, creative, innovative anything; whether it be art, conversation or even charity and alas, c’est impossible. How can we give the best of our intellect when we’re not only barraged with ‘well, what the point?’ but atop, the impossibility of remaining relevant when trend is no longer seasonal, but daily? And also, when it seems good taste no longer really matters…
Alas, the world appears to be falling apart but God forbid you don’t post the 100000 parties you’ve attended, hands laden with 1000000 Love Bracelets and Birkins (because everyone has them now and there is no such thing as subtlety…).
There is one vital component of all of this that should make us all feel much better since we can no longer rely on retail therapy given global economics is so dire and of course you know, ‘over-consumerism/we’re destroying our planet’:
We’re all in this together.
There has never been a time in the world whereby not one person is devoid of what is going on.
The irony however of course (because it’s got to be ironic) is that we can no longer actually rely on a sense of community either because social media has taught us that comparison is the only genuine form of perception and that what we read into things absolutely must be reality (yay!). We’re literally fighting for likes. And it’s ridiculous because at the same time, there’s no actual measure of success to aspire to because such platforms make it possible for anyone to be anything. This would be a good thing if it meant that skills were still valued. We’ve lost the ability to talk to each other in a balanced way (or even, in person) for being so over-indulgent in our ‘it’s ok not to be ok-ness’ that we no longer remember the equally valuable sentiment of: ’keep calm and carry on’.
So, we’re quite stuck.
It would be funny (and kinda mean) to just end this there. But I’d like to start the New Year not with a ‘new me’ but actually, the old one. I way prefer her. To remind myself of how awesome she was in her unapologetic sureness of being the absolute opposite of everything people now appear to relate to - and perhaps to offer a little hope and advice. So, here are some things that help me when I’m feeling that all is lost - Girl in Style’s rules to live by, if you will (by no means is this for everyone nor am I any type of professional other than in the realms of aesthetic style - so take it in the offering it is intended):
1. Appearances matter: we’ve been told so much that it’s what is on the inside that counts (which is great - and it does) that it seems it has also become acceptable just to look like ****. Once upon a time, you weren’t even allowed to wear jeans in Harrods. Don’t let anyone tell you differently: You put that red lipstick on. Sometimes aesthetic diversion, even if shallow (though I don’t think there’s anything shallow about beauty, actually), can make us feel better. Even if a slight mask; it’s ok to wear it sometimes. Put yourself together on the outside and just maybe, you’ll feel a little better in that old heart of yours too.
2. Get on with it: We’ve been told the phrase ‘it’s ok not to be ok’ so much that it’s a now established part of our amo. I get the sentiment; and giving ourselves grace is imperative. But actually, it’s not ok to not be ok a majority of the time. That’s our bodies telling us something. Whilst talking about and acknowledging ourselves is vital, constantly reinstating the negative usually doesn’t make us feel better. Diversion is something I use when I’m in the deepest of the dumps - get up, make your bed, get on with it (whatever it is).
3. Define what you want: If you don’t know, start with what you know is important to you; what you’re not willing to compromise on. And also just that: be unwilling to compromise on certain things (that’s one I wish I’d learned sooner).
4. Pivot: In the grander scheme of things and on an hourly basis. Despite the fact that consistency is key to success, going against our rhythm isn’t going to breed it either. This is particularly true if you’re creative. So, if something isn’t working, do something else. It’s as important as ‘sticking with something’. Know when to shift.
5. Keep On Moving: You may pivot (as in 4.) if something isn’t working out and you may also need to lay low sometimes, but even if it’s dreaming about the things you want to achieve whilst having a more gentle day or getting up and going for a walk, just keep moving. Always.
6. Contribute: When the world is lost, create something bigger than yourself. It could be by being there for someone else, charity or a passion project - but it’s for the greater good. We are here to contribute. That’s the meaning.
7. Get Physical: If you don’t feel good spiritually, focus on feeling as physically good as possible. Eat well, breath deeply, do exercise. You think it won’t help, it will.
8. Repeat: Never. Give. Up. You may have to start over and over again; and there will be days where all hope is lost; where grief is overwhelming and your tears splash on the tips of the toes on your Manolos - remember there will be days like these and those are the moments where grace comes to play (a hot bath or shower, a slow walk outside, some deep breaths or, if you’re like me, cleaning the house from top to toe) - but we’re here for our greater purpose and it will show itself. Repeat - as often as necessary.
See you at Fashion Week,
Girl in Style x